The Kawaii Virus
The Kawaii Virus (scientific name Roseascrotum Prodigium) is a chronic, currently incurable contagious disease, known to turn regular, productive members of society into bloodthirsty traps with a weird obsession with the color pink. It is hard to diagonse in it's early stages due it being commonly mistaken for regular old faggotry. It is most commonly found in teenage and adult men, although """research""" has shown that women can get it too, and that lolis may have been the first carriers of the virus. Signs and Symptoms 'Obsession with pink' Within 1-6 weeks after the infection, the patient will begin to show interest in the color pink. During this period, the patient may not be obsessed with it first, and will often deny it. After 7 weeks, the patient will begin to show much more fondness for the color, some going as far as to say they love it. Then, at around 13 weeks, the real pink obsession begins. They will collect as many pink objects as they can, going as far as to steal that one shitty perfume at your grandma's thrift shop just because it is vaguely pink. Some patients only wear pink, although this varies based the severity of the infection. 'Increased violent behavior' Those infected with R. Prodigium ''have increase in violent and risky behavior. Although it is not known when this particularly begins, most medical professinals agree the very latest it can show up is at 3 weeks. In the beginning, like most symptoms, it starts off mild. It may start off as simple aggression and then soon escalate into fights and murder. Notably, in the 8th week, the victim may start to attack family members and close friends without warning, seemingly without cause. The patient may try to use their newly developed fangs to bite others, or start fires without reason. Another thing of note is the love of knives and other sharp objects. Doctors theorize this may be due to the fact that it creates an orifice in the body, making it easier to infect others. Others have suggested that since the brain is heavily affected by the virus to the point of retardation, they simply go for the stupider choice instead of simply going for a gun like rational people when it comes to killing people in your school. Scientists hypothesize that those other scientists may be the mentally retarded ones instead of the people infected with The Kawaii Disease. 'Pretty bright thing that hurts you when you touch it' Also known by it's scientific name Fire. After 7 whole months, the infected will begin to have the ability to control fire. Once they have gained the ability to seize the power of fire, the infected will also gain immunity from it. You could soak their entir e body in gasoline and let a flamethrower attack the shit out them and they would come out clean, minus the gasoline. The exact cause of this is unknown, however, it is thought to be caused by the increase in violent behavior. 'Changes in physical appearance' During the first few weeks, the patient will become more petite and womanlike. This is more easily identifiable in male patients because they are male. After some time has passed, they will completely look like a QT girl, except that they have a penis, so you still will have The Gay. Their voice also undergoes drastic changes, so they sound more feminine. Sometimes they will sound like lolis, and that's when you call the police.Infected persons will also grow a pair of fangs, used for biting into new victims and possibly (read: definitely) spreading the disease. They may or may not drink blood with them too. There are also reports of the infected growing claws, although this may be due to an unrelated disease. The infected's skins becomes softer to the touch and may even become paler too. According to a study in Fucking Nowhere , 34% of victims experience their blood turning pink as well. 'Loss of speech''' Patients lose the ability to properly speak at around 10 weeks after infection, although this may occur later in some patients. What was once coherant speech gets turned into a jumbled mess of "nya" and "uwu" and "uguu" and the occasional "desu desu motherfucker". Other than that, the rest the noises are grunts and squeals that resemble the mating call of a girl in a hentai mixed with a dying pig. Very cute. Spread and Method of Infection The Kawaii Virus is spread via infection from one person to another. It needs a host to live in otherwise in a couple of months it shrivels up and dies a lonely life. It is mostly commonly spread by getting your ass kicked by an infected person. You can also get by drinking contaminated and The Kawaii Virus.]]water or by being nice to a tranny. Very important research has concluded that having The Gay makes you more susceptible to getting The Kawaii Virus. The disease forms randomly within the bodies of those infected with Gay, similar to Bee Eating Disease. It is also sexually transmitted, thus solidifying having sex with a trap as Mega Chocolaty Gay With Sprinkles. The Kawaii Virus is also spread via dirty needles, and is carried by mosquitoes. Other forms of spreading include but are not limited to: Saliva, air contamination, radiation waste, furries, making eye contact, speaking, breathing, moving, existing and pissing. The Cure Is an alright band. There is no known cure for The Kawaii Virus. You can get vaccinated, but that gives you autism, so doctors are trying to figure out a way to cure this disease without making you more of a brainlet than you already are. However there is one experimental cure, shown below. Gallery Notmygun.jpg|The Kawaii Virus will also make your guns gayer. Surprisebitch.gif|An infected man about to to show you his knaifu waifu Gayesthauntedhouseever.jpg|An area where The Kawaii Virus is prominent. Seecks.jpg|Satan was once infected with The Kawaii Virus, but then he discovered Jesus and Christian way and is Gay free! Wait, wrong article. Woah.jpg|An infected man eating fire. This is normal. Suhword.jpg|Infected patients have a 50/50 chance of becoming your angle or yuor devil Uguuitssatan.jpg|Making the gayest pentagram possible is a very easy way to get The Kawaii Virus. Satan doesn't like gay shit, okay? Bbf79bbdb9f851f21fb8c1fe7b1b40e7.jpg|Give your photo a caption (optional) Category:Diseases Category:Stuff That'll Most Likely Kill You Category:Gay Category:Articles With Potential Category:Long Articles